Sterling, VA 20164
(703) 434-9009
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Meridians House Sober Living
for MEN
Read the testimony of Bruce H., Ian F., Karen M. and Olivia K., our program graduates.
last update 9/15/18
ph: (703) 434-9009
Jim
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MISSION
Our mission is to help as many alcoholics and addicts as we can to develop a recovery lifestyle through our Peer Based Recovery Support Service structure. We use a sober living program to sustain a safe environment with like minded house brothers. There is a residential program to immerse new people and jump start their recovery, this program is like going to treatment. Our third program is a supported dual diagnosis sober living program to help those families that are struggling to maintain stability while fostering healthy changes. We are fully self-supporting without government assistance or insurance considerations.
Meridians Recovery uses evidence based practices rooted in neuroscience research combined with social learning theory and the local recovery community to offer a healing place for those people that are desirous to begin a new pathway in recovery. We feel our approach blends the best of science and 12 step recovery and fills the gap between treatment and the environments addicts are used to.
How do I stop my loved ones addiction?
I receive emails and phone calls almost daily asking this question. The quick answer is you can't. The long answer involves an education on the nature of addiction and a list of things to not do or stop doing. You guys are reading this because you want answers so let's get into it right away.
The addiction process is rooted in our neural structures and learning systems. Addiction itself is like a feedback loop or a skip in an old record player. The dopamine reward system gives a stimulus reward for behavior. All behavior, good or bad, is rewarded with these pleasure givers. Ideally they should reward good things more but unfortunately it goes both ways. The way this works for addicts is that when our stressors overwhelm our coping mechanisms we would rather avoid the ambiguity of pain, anxiety, and stress by feeling better, (dopamine). That is why there are more addictions than just alcohol and drugs; we have gambling addiction, food, sex, drama, video games, the list goes on and on. You might be asking now, why doesn't everyone become addicts then?
Maybe you are not as sensitized to stressors. Not everyone has survived trauma, poor living conditions, poverty, and mental illness. Where the difference lies is in the frequency to which we need to minimize our stress response. With enough frequency, we alter the structures in our dopamine reward system to where compulsive need for stimulation (masking stress) becomes our default. This abandoning of real life events causes consequences and then addiction takes on a life of its own. This is the feedback loop, or skip, I was talking about. The adult human brain does make new brain cells in the hippocampus related to memories. During addiction this is where our automated responses are conscious and semiconscious. Lay people think addiction is behavioral and an immoral act. Since it causes neural adaptation causing the sufferer to lose control it is most certainly a disease.
The opiate crisis is frightening and to us addictionologists, alarming. Every week we hear of people that we knew from recovery that in the blink of an eye are now gone. Usually families have watched the progression of the disease over the course of years, until its painful and merciful end. Most people have heard of a substance called fentanyl. This is manufactured inside our borders and is 50 times stronger than heroin. This substance is an analgesic, used to deaden chronic pain. Since fentanyl is easier to get than heroin, it is being used to cut and boost what may be sold as heroin. Illicit drug sellers, and users, are not careful. The fentanyl that gets laced into the heroin sometimes winds up in clumps. An addict never knows if they are getting a bag that is mostly heroin or mostly fentanyl. With a potentially 50 times stronger suppressive effect on pulmonary and respiratory function you can see why so many people are lost. It is literally a crap shoot.
Alcohol related deaths seem to be on the rise in the last few years. It appears every day stressors are increasing the complications making stability in the average Americans lifestyle ever more elusive. How do we identify those at risk?
Those that have yet to exhibit symptoms of addiction usually are pre-compulsive or are on the cusp of developing that component of the addictive progression. We often admire a person for weathering adversity in their lives. Maybe they are working two or even three jobs after a breakup, show few signs of emotional collapse after a family member passed, or they cope so well as a single parent. These are everyday normal people struggling with personal challenges. The problems are many in these cases as people are able to handle imbalanced lives, but only for so long.
We are however dealing with adults here, sometimes our children, we do have some influence but remember you have your own stressors as well and the need to maintain balance in your life in order to stay effectual. Many times we see people struggling to cope but either we feel it isn't our business, we get blown off, or we might be too close (family member) to see the nuances of trouble in its early stages. Sometimes a hug, mentioning your observation, and an offer to help, might open the flood gates of stress and relief. When this interaction is unwanted, and addiction has already taken root, we are usually rebuffed and even lied to. The light of social engagement shines on addiction. We use in secrecy and recover in community with others.
Here's what to do if the addiction has already started. First is to gather up your courage. This is a beast and it wants to continue. Your have already seen all the signs but do not be deterred when your loved one tells you that you are wrong, crazy, imagining things, controlling them, or start lying. The addict/alcoholic has to convince you of an alternate reality in order to continue. Confront the lies. They will ultimately withdraw after putting up all the defenses they can muster. As they start to lose control they won't be able to keep up with aspects of their live. Do not pay their bills, if you pay for their cell phone turn it off, no lawyers for court, no car, no daycare from you. What I am saying is that anything you do for them, out of love, will be used to sustain the addiction. If you do choose to do these things, you just may help them into the grave. You have already loved them and look where you guys are now. This is a time to be a stearn, tough, and disciplined loved one.
When it becomes time for help and treatment is the best option remember a few things. A month of inpatient treatment is only a jump start to recovery. It has to followed up with sustained support. If we throw the new recovery person back into the froe of stress and the environment they used in, the success rate is dismal. This is why clinical based treatment has between a 10% and 12% success rate nationwide. Extended engagement in a sober living environment supports a changing lifestyle. Not all sober living environments are created equal as well. Do your research, look at the reviews, and ask around. Addiction naturally taps into our neural learning systems and recovery has to do the same to overwrite the using memories and default responses we construct during our addiction. We are all social learners, meaning we learn best in close proximity with and from others that have gone before us and that are now being successful, clean and sober.
2017 Meridians Recovery 990
The Addictive Process in the Brain
Whether the compulsive addictive process is through substance abuse or behavioral the effect has the same affect on brain chemistry. Natural brain chemistry starts shutting down as a result of artificial stimulation. The need for neurotransmitter stimulation (or addiction) becomes much like the need for food. We have to have it to: to feel good, satisfaction, fun, normal, or just to make life bearable. The use of drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, adrenaline, drama, shopping, cutting, food, etc. all take on a life of their own, far surpassing normal social acceptability. Recovery and cessation of compulsive behaviors and the healing of our spiritual selves is the only solution.
ph: (703) 434-9009
Jim